


Leave Your Lover:A Sastiel Oneshot

by Asuna_Miku30



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, SPN - Freeform, Samstiel - Freeform, Sastiel - Freeform, Twist and Shout, samcas, sastiel fanfiction, super natural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:43:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4709759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asuna_Miku30/pseuds/Asuna_Miku30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam watched Dean show Castiel affection through hints thrown left and right. But he stayed quiet. He didn't dare get between them. Dean was happy, and Sam would have to push through it and move on. But how could he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Your Lover:A Sastiel Oneshot

Sam Winchester sat in the back of the Impala, silent. He watched Dean laugh and grin over at Castiel as he drove down the road. Cas smiled back at him happily. “So, Cas, we’ve got a new hotel, I think you’ll like it. S’ got two rooms, two beds.” Dean said. It was obvious to everyone but the angel what he meant by that. Cas nodded and kept his gaze forward.

Dean had always gotten what Sam wanted. Always. He got Dad’s approval. He got the Baby. He got any girl he glanced at. It always seem like he had everything, and when his younger brother finally got something he couldn’t get, he took it from him. Just like school and his career. Just like Jess. Just like their mother. Just like Cas. His eyes widened slightly at the thought that had creeped into his angered train of thought and shook it off just as fast.  
Sam couldn’t help but blame Dean for Jess’s death. If he hadn’t dragged him out to find their father, he could have saved her. He could have become a lawyer, gotten married, had kids. John didn’t even want to see Sam. He shouldn’t have gone. He wouldn’t be sitting here, heart broken and hurt if he had just stayed. And their mom..God, their mom. He never did have a stern memory of her. But Dean? Oh, yeah, he could remember her perfectly. He knew her. He got the chance Sam would die for.

Dean turned into the motel lot, humming to the rock music playing. He parked. Castiel quietly got out, then Dean, and finally Sam. His older brother continued to sing the AC-DC song under his breath. He pulled the key from his jean pocket and shoved it into the lock. Sam let his gaze shift over to Castiel. Cas was looking around with a concerned expression on his clean-shaven face. Everything that happened to pass by caught his attention. Everything but Sam. His eyes seemed to brighten up when Dean opened the door and patted his back as he strode inside. An unwanted feeling churned in Sam’s stomach.

Dean didn’t bother to hold the door for his brother, him being too stuck on the angel in his room to notice or care. Which ever it was, it made Sam want to curl up and hide. It seemed like any little thing made him want to disappear. And every big thing just made him stand out and cause more of a problem than before. He couldn’t win. 

“Castiel, you can,” Dean cleared his throat,” Sleep in my bed.” He fixed his jacket self-consciously. A silence rang out in the room before Cas nodded shortly in agreement. A grin worked it’s way onto the man’s face as he wrapped an arm around the angel. Sam stood by the doorway, watching it all, his face expressionless, nails digging into the palm of his hands. He watched his brother lead Cas to the couch and plop down, turning on the TV. He watched him slip an arm around his neck again, this time having him lean into it. He watched Castiel give a small smile.

Before he could show any anger, Sam led himself to the other room quickly. A small circular table sat in front of the only window in the room. The tan old curtains were drawn back to let in sunlight. He shut the door behind him and trudged towards the furniture, collapsing in the one of two chairs. Resting his forehead on his fist, he began to think over his feelings. He rarely ever got time for this.

First, he thought of Jess. He missed her and thought of her occasionally. But she was gone. Dead. Lost. He wasn’t going to get her back and he knew she would hate to see him hold himself back from anyone. It was like her to want everyone happy. Her laugh rang through his memory, making him bite his lip to hold back any kind of negative emotion. 

More anger pulsed through his veins. Dean. Dean freaking Winchester. His own brother. Sam wanted what his brother had worked so damn hard to get. He wanted what made him happy. He wanted what made him laugh. He wanted what kept him safe. He wanted Castiel. Sam couldn’t get the thought of the angel loving him out of his damn head. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much better he would be in Sam’s arms. How he was so much better than his brother. He was perfect for Castiel. Sam gripped the chair’s arm.

He couldn’t steal Dean’s one love. The one person he cared for other than Sam. Dean deserved this--he was raised from perdition by this man. They exchanged loving glances constantly. They worked together perfectly. He was his angel for crying out loud. And Sam? Sam was the vessel for the worst being they’ve come to know. He got stuck with the brother. 

Sam let out a low growl, pressing his fists together, clumping his hair in his sweaty palms. His breathing began to grow heavy as he attempted to calm his anger. He couldn’t. Shooting up, he snatched the mini lamp in the center of the table and threw it across the room, the base of it shattering into a million pieces against the carpet. He stormed and snatched up the remaining frame and ripped out the lightbulb, dropping it and stomping it to shards. The glass pieces sunk into the carpet slightly.

Sam stood there above the wreckage for a moment’s time before turning and sulking back to his original chair.The anger inside him started to slow it's pulse, but only by a bit. He was still confused. Upset. Hurt, pissed. He let a small, weak sob shudder his body. He pinched his nose in attempt to lighten the headache that had began to pound against his skull. Sam couldn't think straight--actually, that was his problem right there. Castiel was his problem. Sam shook his head. No, it was Dean. Most definitely Dean. He was the problem.

The door creaked open and Sam hid his blotched face in his hands. He heard footsteps stop right in front of the wooden table. “You seem troubled.” Castiel’s scruffy voice pierced through the silence, only for more to come. He couldn’t look up at him. He couldn’t. Not at the man he wanted, the man he would have to steal in order to have. The man he’d have to violently rip from his brother’s grasp. A small, deep, hurt laugh was managed. “N-No, Cas, m’ not troubled,” he tried to sound in control, but his voice cracked at the end. More tears streamed down his cheeks and into his palms. 

Sam heard him shift and sit across from him on the small chair. “Dean isn’t here. He’s gone.” Nothing. Silence. “He, uh, left to get food. I did not want to go.” More silence. “Sam, what is bothering you?” Sam kept his breathing quiet, his reddened eyes focused on the patterns in the table top. Castiel stood up to move back in front of him and rested a hand on his shoulder. Sam froze before slowly looking up. Cas stared at him, taking in his state; his hair was a mess, stuck to his cheeks from the tears and sticking up in different directions, with red puffy eyes and tears still streaming. An upset sigh came from Cas’s lips. “Sam..,” he whispered,”What is going on with you?” 

He bit his lip and turned his head to look out the window, avoiding the question all together. Clouds were gathering overhead and thunder rolled. They were dangerously dark--Dean would be having to come home eventually. “Cas-” Sam started. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know whether to lie or come clean. He could barely think at all. Castiel stared down at him, unmoving and waiting for an answer. “Cas,” Sam sighed and stood,” I want something I can’t have. I want something that will do more harm than good if I get it. I can’t be selfish. Do you understand?” He said. He had tried his best to stay vague. 

“You are allowed to be selfish if you want. You rarely ever are, that is why you don’t have what you want. Because you never chase after it,” the angel whispered encouragingly. He looked him in the eyes with a serious effect, making sure his point got across and through his head. “Not this time, Cas, I just-I just can’t.” Their eyes stayed locked but didn’t Sam didn’t continue. “What is it that you want?” 

Castiel searched his face for some sort of sign he could use. The only thing he received was more hot tears. He couldn’t figure out what was getting to Sam. Nothing had made sense--he couldn’t think of anything that he would want that would harm anyone. “Sam..”

Sam inhaled shakily, then exhaled, wiping his eyes. “C-Castiel..I..-” Thunder roared directly above them, overpowering his words and giving the room a slight shake. Lighting flashed just out the window. Cas raised his eyebrow at him. “..I did not hear you.” Rain began to pour down harshly. “Forget it, I’m fine,” Sam said. He pushed past Castiel and kept his head bowed. Red dusted his cheeks. 

As he was walking away, a hand grasped onto his wrist, holding on tightly. Sam stopped in his tracks and lifted his chin to look back, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. “Sam,” Cas strained. He looked him dead in the eyes with a straight face. He was purely serious and glaring somewhat. Sam gave into the stare and began to tear up yet again. “C-Cas..Cas, I l-love you,” he voice cracking at the confession. He clenched the fist Castiel had gripped onto and shut his eyes. Sam set his jaw as his body shook. His chest ached. It pounded through his body in rhythm with his heartbeat. He pulled away from the grasp quickly, ducking his head and stalking off towards the door.

Castiel watched him go, frozen still at the answer Sam had given. A small glint was visible in the blue orbs as he rushed after him. Sam swung open the door and stepped out into the pouring rain. His eyes welled up with the chilly rain as he tilted his head up to the clouds. Instantly his hair became soaked and clothes drenched. Castiel’s brows drew together before he joined the Winchester outside. He studied the tall figure before him. Sam gritted his teeth, not hearing Cas’s boots hit the water puddles, and let out a desperate sob. He gasped when Castiel took his shoulder and spun him around to face him, their faces only inches apart. He felt a surge of electricity pulsed through his veins at the lack of personnel space. Sam could feel himself gaze into the crystal blue. “You did not give me enough time to answer you.” Castiel breathed. Sam looked up and down his face slowly before returning to his sparkling eyes. “I didn’t think you had a response.” His voice was husky and low. His eyes lowered to his lips lazily before shooting back up, only to realize Cas’s eyes focused on his own.

They exchanged breaths before Castiel caressed a thumb to Sam’s stubbled chin and leaned forward, pressing his lips against his. The rain didn’t seem to slow at all, but only got harder. Thunder crashed along with the sudden ear-piercing sound of a car alarm. Keys dropped to the pavement. Sam pulled back unwillingly to look and see Dean. Dean’s eyes widened at the scene before him.

His keys sent ripples through the puddle and Castiel tore his stare from the youngest’s lips towards him. Dean opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t speak. “D-Dean, I-” Sam started, completely caught off guard and unprepared. He clenched and released his fists repeatedly. He couldn’t think of anything to say;not an excuse, not a reason, not a reassuring comment. The kiss replayed in his mind, only making him feel worse. Castiel was so..into it.He had done what he was pissed at his brother for doing for years. He stooped to Dean’s level and was caught red-handed. 

He snapped out of his realization when Castiel pivoted and strode back inside the warm rented room. Dean stormed right after, his hair beginning to look slick and jacket blotched with water. “Cas!” He shouted. Sam quickly jogged after Dean, pondering all the things he could say to get him to forgive him. “Dean--Dean, listen, I’m sorry,” he called after him. 

Sam was the last into the hotel room. He gently closed the door behind him, running a free hand through his long, dripping wet hair. Dean turned to him, calloused fists clenched until white, eyes flaring. “You heartless, useless freak!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. “How the hell could you do that?!” Sam felt a shot of pain in his chest at his brother’s words. “Dean..” He managed. “Shut up!” Dean pointed a finger at him, shaking from rage. His eyes brimmed with hot, angered tears. Sam closed his lips into a thin line. “And you-” He started, spinning to face Castiel. “I thought we-I thought we had something, dammit!” Castiel stared at Dean, frowning somewhat. Dean’s voice went quiet. He was breathing heavily, shoulders heaving with each intake. 

Sam stayed put in the foyer. “Y-You..Cas, you..,” Dean whispered weakly. Tears finally overcame him and ran down his cheeks one by one. “Dean,” Castiel said. He stepped forward and took Dean’s chin in his hand, tilting it up to meet his eyes directly.

“The minute you introduced me to Sam, I had fallen. And no it has come to my realization that he has feelings towards me, and that this wasn’t a one-sided occurrence. Dean, I am sorry. But I...I am in love with Sam Winchester.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Kudo! Share it with your friends! Leave me building/improvement comments!


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